By neglecting to post yesterday, I have already failed in my solemn pledge to be boring on a daily basis. It will not happen again. I plead fatigue and loss of brain power, due only in part to lack of proper nutrition and severe muscle strain. The time I had designated Official Nightly Blog time I instead spent watching 'The Real Housewives of Orange County.' Clearly, hunger has unhinged me.
Seriously, what is wrong with these women? The silicone from their breasts has migrated to their egos, causing them to swell beyond all human recognition, and the botox in their faces has clearly paralyzed their brains, resulting in seizures. How else to explain those sudden crying jags and bewildering catfights? Or the sight of a thirty-something year old woman in a hot pink track suit dancing around the manse screeching with delight over the $65,000 engagement ring her beloved has bought her, even as said beloved lay in the ICU battling cancer? It has to be some form of surgically enhanced dementia. There is no other explanation. Doctors should be called.
So why would anyone in their right mind want to watch this coven of shrieking harpies, their spoiled children and beleaguered husbands? And why can't I stop?
There must be something in the water.
I should drink less water.
Off to the gym.
~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday's Bore
~~~~~~~~~
Precor step machine: 7875 strides
whatever that means. Damn machine was broken and wouldn't give mileage, just strideage.
Look, we have very specific goals here, people, and how are we supposed to know when we hit those goals if you give us distance in miles on the treadmill, in strides on a step machine, grunts per lap on the elliptical trainer and kilometers on the stationary bike? Consistency, please. We are way too hungry to do the math.
I'm calling it 3.60 miles. Who's gonna argue?
treadmill: 2.60 miles
6.20 miles total
(also; leg machines)
~~~~~~~~~~
Breakfast: black coffee
Lunch: 5 celery stalks 25 calories
1 1/2 bowls of Progresso/leftovers from yesterday soup 245
270 calories total
Dinner: 2 celery stalks 10
broccoli 30
carrot 22
baked potato 104
w/ lots of butter 200
366 calories total
daily total: 636 calories
~~~~~~~~~~
net weight gain/loss: -5 lbs.
I know, I know.
Water loss, not fat. Still counts. I'm takin' it.
Posts
2 comments:
I have finally won you to the dark side!!! You watched that trollop with her diamond ring. I too thought it was BEYOND tacky. Did you see the episode where one of the wives questioned her on why she would go on vacation while her fiance is in ICU! I can't wait to see the next episode because supposedly she hooks up with that same woman's son. Ahhhhh...gotta love the OC!
She went on vacation too!? My god...
Where do they find these people?
Oh, right...um, here... :) @#$%!!!
Post a Comment