Saturday, July 01, 2006

ideas I wish I'd had first

Fortunately for the Bill of Rights and free-thinking Americans everywhere, the dread but seasonally ubiquitous Flag Measure has failed again ~ this time by a single vote.

The best suggestion I'v heard so far to retire this ridiculous waste of time, money and civil liberties once and for all came in the form of a letter to the editors of the LA Times:

I suggest that flag wrapping, not flag burning, constitutes the most egregious desecration of the flag. Flag wrapping is the practice by politicians of wrapping themselves in the flag, especially during an election year. An excellent example of flag wrapping has just been provided by members of Congress who pushed for a constitutional amendment that would give them the power to ban flag burning by private citizens. I propose a constitutional amendment that gives Congress the power to ban flag wrapping by elected officials, beginning with all members of Congress.

SCOTT MCKENZIE
Los Angeles

Brilliant! Now, why couldn't I have thought of that? It's an elegant solution to a problem that seems to exist nowhere as much as in the minds of the greedy, dim-witted, hypocritical blowhards that we the people, in spite of all the howlingly obvious reasons not to, still insist on sending back to their cushy congressional cash couches year after year after demoralizing year.

I urge you to write your congressperson today regarding this important constitutional amendment. BAN FLAG WRAPPING NOW! Write early, write often.

Happy Independence Day!

3 comments:

Paul said...

Isn't it funny how, with mid-term elections approaching, the national attention is being shifted from war, terrorism, the environment, gas prices, etc., to the gay marriage amendment, flag-burning, and Elvis?

neil said...

I don't know, maybe instead of banning flag wrapping, they could fold the flag end over end until it was a tight band and wrap it right around their mouths, kinda like a patriot gag. Then when they try to say something and it sounds like "argh, umph and gurgle" we could say "What's that, you want to take a pension cut and redistribute it to the needy? Great idea!"

Lisa :-] said...

Yeah...all the good ideas seem to be taken already :D