Sunday, December 14, 2008

jager angels

Black leather boots and bustiers. Fishnet stockings, DayGlo orange wigs and more tattoos and eyeliner than Amy Winehouse at a biker rally, it was an unlikely getup for a couple of angels. Yet for all its sexy outrageousness, the Jagermeister shooter girls managed to look innocently adorable.

We were sitting at the bar waiting for our table to open up in the dining room. Turk had talked me into going out to dinner in spite of my reluctance ~ frankly, I am not at all happy with the creeping frumpiness
of my appearance. I just want to stay home and hide.

I know. I should be bigger than this. I'm not. I shouldn't care, but I do. I'm supposed to love myself and embrace the older, wiser, more beautiful goddess within. I really can't.

I am, if anything, annoyed with her. It was never my intention to live long enough to look this old in the first place. While all my friends were busy becoming doctors, lawyers and engineers I was working on my 10 year plan to live hard, die young and leave a beautiful corpse. Typically, in this, as in so many things, I failed to apply myself and wound up here, in a nondescript middle age, dealing with this frumpiness, this encroaching Elmer Fuddliness.
Fat, furrowed and befuddled am I.

The girls came up to give their pitch regarding the exemplary qualities of Jagermeister. They laughed good-naturedly when Turk, clearly dazzled by such bodacious attention, claimed to be a German prince in exile, pining away for Jager, the milk of his youth. They were really very sweet. Then, leaving us with a smile and the gift of an orange paper-flower lei, they were moving on toward the next customer when suddenly they turned back and one girl exclaimed, "We just have to tell you how pretty you are!" Her friend nodded, beaming.

And so help me Aphrodite, just for a while I felt lighter.

See what I mean? Angels.

My angels carry shot glasses. Like I always knew they would.

7 comments:

Robbie said...

Okay, I'm confused. Was this a dream you had last night? ;-p

I loved the last line. It had me cracking up out loud.

And, dear G. you ARE beautiful. Damn it!

Paul said...

I'm going to take Robbie's word for it...unless the "pretty" comment was actually directed toward Turk.

Miz Shoes said...

Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters.

Really. I failed at the same thing. I look at myself in the mirror and want to cry, even though I know that I still look fine.

V said...

"We just have to tell you how pretty you are!" Her friend nodded, beaming.

And so help me Aphrodite, just for a while I felt lighter.

See what I mean? Angels.

My angels carry shot glasses. Like I always knew they would.


That`s a beautiful heart at the controls.
V

Robbie said...

Hmmm...the flowers look like they are painted on. I knew the label was added although I've seen some people even draw those quite life like so I was sure until you said so. Keep it up!

Sydney said...

How fabulous was that? They say god speaks to you through others, lol, and clearly, this was it! I just have one question -- Did you hear it before drinks or after???

I COMPLETELY related to everything you said here... I tried on some clothes today, that was my taste from the rock and roll 80's and told myself, you really really can't wear this shit anymore. My legs -- they are the last to go they say, yet, they look like they unscrewed the ones I remember and put someone else's on me-- feet, ankles, everything is different. Arms too. I dress more and more in solids in basic cuts and add interest with earrings or a purse. If I'm anywhere that requires either, which is almost never anymore...

I think it's time for a MARTINI! :-D

Anonymous said...

Wow! Nicely done... and the ending?... superb!