Kim and Gi's Excellent Adventure ~ part one

Or How I Spent the Apocalypse

On Saturday I went to LAX to pick up my lovely and talented sister-in-law, who was coming to town for a industry trade show that was to begin on Monday June 5th. I was at great pains to explain to Kim that the drive to and from LAX would be at least an hour and a half each way, allowing for sigalerts, freeway shootings, car chases and the like.

I was there in 25 minutes, and spent the 37 minutes it took getting back to my place trying to convince her that the wide open highways were an anomaly, and not just me making a big deal out of going to the airport.

Kim is a high-powered executive with a legal tech firm, the details of which, I'm afraid to say, are beyond my powers of comprehension. So it came as a surprise when she offered me a job.

"You'd be working the booth," she said. "Just handing out brochures, and getting people to sign up for demos and giveaways."

"Are you sure I can do this?" I asked. There may be a reason I haven't worked in a while. My talents are somewhat limited. As are my hours.

"You'd be handing out tee shirts," she said. "Generally helping out. We just need an extra hand."

We'd be sharing a room at a swanky downtown hotel, living and dining well. I thought I could handle that.

"And we're hosting a cocktail party in the penthouse lounge," she said.

"You had me at tee shirts," I murmured happily.

Kimberly and I are as different as night and day, physically and philosophically. She is tall, blonde, elegant and very professional. I am short, dark, unpolished but fairly employable. She is a dedicated Christian and Republican; I am a happily godless Democrat. What we have in common is family, (she is married to my brother) friendship, and a history that goes back some 25 years. We get along famously.

When we checked into our luxuriously comfortable room with a view (Heavenly Sleep Beds! Goose down duvets!) Kim opened one of the bedside tables and let out a hoot. There lay the ubiquitous Gideon Bible, right next to a copy of The Teachings of Buddha.

"Only in California!" she exclaimed, laughing.

"Equal time, baby!" I grinned, giving a resounding double thumbs up. We repeated this exchange as she recounted the incident to fellow out-of-towners over the next few days, to everyone's apparent amusement.