Matt Wuerker Cartoons Sartre once said that the state of modern man is incomprehension and rage. Cheerful guy, that Sartre, but when you realize that he said that before he ever had a chance to experience either the Bush Administration, "American Idol" or even Paris Hilton, you see him for the visionary he truly was.
I woke up feeling a bit punkish myself and stayed home sick today, as opposed to my usual habit of staying home well, and after noodling around awhile decided I was in a Sartre state of mind. Contemplating the upcoming presidential address with a general sense of creeping despair, I was happy to discover I would not have to endure the coverage without aid. Apparently, there is a national epidemic of State of the Union drinking games afoot, and thank heavens for them. Two of my favorites:
From Beer and Present Danger by Heather Havrilesky ~
The game is simple enough for even your average registered voter to understand. Basically, every time Bush says "terror," "terrorism," "terrorist," "war on terror" or "Terror Dome," you drink.
Also drink when the president winks, nods and points at someone in the audience in rapid succession; drink each time he refers to 9/11 or uses the word "nuke-u-lar," and drink something bitter when he says that "the state of our union is strong."
Whenever there's a close-up of a sour-faced Democrat, drink. If it's Hilary Clinton, Ted Kennedy or Harry Reid, drink twice. (Full rules here ...)
And from Adam Felber ~
- Whenever the President says “evil,” everyone must raise their glass and take a drink. It’s good form to make a brief toast of sorts, something like “Down with evil!” or “Evil is bad!” “Evil” should be pronounced with a soft “i” [”Evihl”].
- When talking about the progress of the War in Iraq, wait for the President to say “We are winning” or “we will win.” Everyone then says “Yay!” raises a glass and drinks triumphantly. When the President says the words “hard work” or indicates that hard work still remains, everyone should say “Awww” and take a disappointed sip. (Play here...)
There are many, many others. I predict that 54% of the country will be incapacitated by 6:35 pm (Pacific). So, go. Play. Enjoy. Sartre will understand.
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5 comments:
I've been home five minutes and catching what I hope is the tail (or, is it tale?) end of his speech and I'm half way to drunk already.
P.S. Tell that Irish Cowboy to mind his p's and q's and quit stirring the pot. You're no comment whore. Ha! That used to be me. We're here. But why leave comments when you can call on the phone? ;-p
Woops! Time for another shot.
I think I would have got hammered if I'd taken a slug every time the sycophantic GOP side of the aisle stood and clapped. I just had to keep yelling, "Sit down and let him get it over with!"
I did, however, get a kick out of the Dems' standing ovation at Bush's mention of Congress not passing his Social Security reforms....
Sartre? What about Descartes and his game, "I drink; therefore, I am."
GodDAMN this is a good blog. I saw you around from time to time at AOL J-land, but I've done a long read here, and loved every word, every picture. I'll be back. I'm really only blogging on the group blog a gang of us AOL political bloggers formed back in June, The Blue Voice. I have a place on blogger, but it was just to be able to get into the group. Come visit TBV,
thebluevoice.blogspot.com
and leave some sassy comments!
You can get drunk on nuke-u-lar alone!
V
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